Chapter one: The Beginning

  You've heard Cthulhu (?), and Satin, Zeus, and God, Hades and Odin, and The other guy, and that one... but do you recall, the most adorable god of all? Glorbus the squishy eldritch, was extremely powerful, and if you ever saw him, you would even say "WTF?" Glorbus the squishy eldritch, looks like a weird slug thing, but Glorbus the squishy eldritch, is very merchandisable!

        Have you ever wondered what's at the center of the sun? That's not pert of the story, it's just cool to think about. How hot and bubbly it would be down there. Maybe it would be squishy. A lot of things are squishy that we don't even know are squishy. Like Glorbus, created from the sludge at the bottom of an abandoned pool. Are you hooked? Did I write a good hook? Did I write a goose? Of course I didn't write a goose, that's silly. Silly goose. A silly goose-hook. Anyway, please enjoy the story of Glorbus, it has been created to fit the exact liking of the average internet human, to extract maximum attention. Witch feeds the Glorbus's ever growing power collective, he keeps at the center of the sun. That's it by the way, and yes. It is very squishy.

        Our wonderful story begins face down in the bottom of an empty swimming pool, on Earth planet-7088924. The humans on this version are the lowest quality anyone has ever seen. They seem to have been educated incorrectly, and does not fit the standards anyone would ever make. (I never made standards, but if I did, the humans would not fit them.) The dirty swimming pool our story begins in contains multiple curious items one could work with to create some sort of thing,  there is a dead frog, a dead lizard, lots of dead leaves, some old pool water that dried into a chlorine-sulfur sludgy mixture, and a dead soul, wandering through and through, lost and helpless. Sad, but not important to the current situation. Just then, as the chemical solution bubbles raise up the hot gasses surrounding the area, tearing off the last bit of ozone layer, the shredded pieces fluttering down like sad, dead butterflies. The sun rays were finally able to beam down lake lasers, permeating the layers of air like a hot knife through butter, setting the pile of wet, dead leaves immediately on fire. When the ash cleared, it revealed the murky chemical blob baked into a loaf by the suns deadly laser. A sickly bright chlorine-green jiggly bread-loaf sized semi-transparent slug thing. jiggling in the wind as a sudden cool breeze swept by, from the rapid spinning of the Earth around it's diagonal axis. That slight butt jiggle is what brought the Glorbus... to life.

        Glorbus's first thought as he opened his big derpy eyes for the first time, was wonderment over the dead frog, and whether or not he could eat it. Of course, the Glorbus was beyond gender, but he/him pronouns worked for the feeble minds of humans. As the true pronouns of the Glorbus would be "igneous/letartae" or, if you want to get technical with it, "IʤĞɳÆŞʘʙɮ/Ļëʩɤæ" But, that might make the humans heads explode, so he/him works fine.

        Glorbus needed to find a way to get to the food, he wiggled in the direction of the dead frog, but having no limbs, the journey proved difficult. Glorbus must adapt. He used minimal energy (as Glorbus is quite powerful) to sprout six little nubblins on each side of his jiggly body. He used said nubblins to reach the frog. Glorbus's small amoeba-like self had a difficult time consuming the frog, however, and the taste was not exactly to his liking. Glorbus was born with very high standards.

        Glorbus wandered aimlessly around the empty pool until coming to the small ladder, he felt like a sim, with escape from this pool just out of reach. The gelatinous membrane around Glorbus had solidified already, so there was no more adapting for him. Glorbus had a lot of time to sit there and think since he was not able to escape the pool at the moment. Glorbus felt like a philosopher, even though he shouldn't even know what that is yet. He thought of what his sentience meant for the evolution of mankind, and what exactly he was supposed to be. A single celled organism with no visible organelles? A multi-celled organism with pre-existent knowledge before sentience? Instincts maybe? Would a truly sentient organism even have instincts? Glorbus eventually concluded he was simply an enigma, and his existence was beyond his current understanding. With that exhausting thought, Glorbus fell asleep. Lucky he gained sentience in the morning, so he knew to sleep at night, at his internal clock is in tune with that of the humans. Glorbus is so peaceful at night, like a sleeping dragon.

        The morning came with the sun that was Glorbus's creator, and the shocking brightness caused Glorbus to wake up right with it. Glorbus knew that today he needed to come up with a plan to escape the pool. Glorbus knew he needed to use serious thinking mode. Glorbus started with his most useless plan, running at the wall of the pool and jumping. Glorbus of course, was only able to lift a few inches before crashing into the wall. Glorbus needed to switch to SERIOUS smart boi thinking mode! and attempted his previous plan again, but this time in front of the ladder, hoping to get onto at least the first step. This also failed miserably as the ladder was placed absurdly high of the ground. Glorbus was NOT going to take this defeat however, and he scanned the pool, looking for anything that could help in his predicament, when he noticed the rusty old handle bar through the middle of a crumbling staircase on the shallow end of the pool. A solution! Glorbus excitedly trotted to the staircase as fast as his little nubbie legs could carry him, Glorbus had a good plan now, a smart, solid, good plan that would work! Glorbus used his squishy round body to roll up the stairs, the last one was particularly difficult, as there was a small lip over the side, but nothing Glorbus couldn't handle, he was out and free! on top of the world! The pinnacle of Earthly success! Out and about! Free to reign the world as he sees fit! And most importantly, eat! Glorbus bounded out past the fence around the old pool with ease, skipping his jiggly self all down the street like he owned it, stopping only when he found a piece of bread on the ground, and it was much more appetizing than the frog. Glorbus was happy on the streets doing nothing, until his moral panic caught up with him, and he began to think introspectively again. This time about what he was supposed to do now that he was free, the whole "What's my life purpose?" spiel. And the existential dread was too much for little Glorbus, so he fell asleep, in a big ol' tire.